I am reflecting on the words of my Dr. Auer when she was
describing what I “may” face in the future if she completed some colon surgery
after my initial diagnosis of Colon Cancer in Nov 2014. At the time it made me squirm a tad and I
thought she was describing the worst case scenario – or at least I hoped that
was the case. In her words;
“.... you may experience some new sensations such as bouts
of gas, some rectal pressure, frequency, urgency, soiled underwear, some
accidents and some general discomfort in the affected area.”
With all that deeply burned into my memory we followed our
course of action through 2015 which included said surgery and a year with an
Ileostomy bag that ensured that my colon had time to heal and enjoyed a year of
non-use after the surgery to remove the area where cancer had been observed. In that year it seems that the colon forgot
how it works effectively and provides my body with regular and easy schedules
of operation. My recent reversal (Sept.
20, 2016) was certainly a relief as the manual operations of managing an
ileostomy were among my least favourite new skills that I have acquired over my
lifetime. I was happy to re-start a more
normal input/output process and happily resumed a normal diet and normal evacuation
of a bowel.
You may ask why I am bringing this up at this time and that
would be a fair question. After the operation
to reverse the Ileostomy I did experience many of the referred side effects that
Dr Auer had mentioned. These instances happened
over a period of time with little to no inconvenience. It did require attention as some of these
effects came up quickly (urgency) and sometimes in quick succession (frequency)
which resulted in some humiliating experiences.
I had to be careful about food intake and activity planning. All of this was taken in stride and managed
to the best of my ability.
However, over the last week I had experienced more of these effects
with an increased intensity to the point where they became a concern as well as
a serious pain in the ass (literally). Over the last 7 days this intensity increased
to the point where I spent approximately 72 hours feeling that I hated my body as
I was experiencing little rest from these effects and several moments with any
nearby toilet. During that period I experienced
all, not a few or a couple but ALL, of the effects Dr. Auer had discussed with
me 25 months before. I became obsessed
with and controlled by the master of all bodily functions. It occurred to me that many functions happen
unconsciously in our bodies and we are happily alright with that. When we have a stomach ache we are alerted to
the fact that something is wrong and we can take a preventative action to
remove the awareness of the stomach’s function from our conscious life. I believe that applies to all basic maladies
that we might encounter with one possible exception.
First, we must accept the fact that we do not discuss
certain subjects in a public forum. My
Mother always told me to stay away from discussions of Religion, Politics and
Sex at the dinner table. She was a wise
woman. I would add that it is also not
appropriate to discuss your rectum and its function at the dinner table or at
any point or place for that matter. Unfortunately,
during the last week I have shared my conscious thoughts with family members
(my apologies to all of you) about my rectum and its disturbing functionality
over the short period off time. I found
myself being obsessed with this subject as I spent several periods in my
favourite room reading some of my new books from Christmas. Also during this period I tried to maintain
my usual schedule of activities, appointments, lunches and dinner
meetings. That left me in a delicate balance
of obsession, conscious thought and my desire to maintain a safe and courteous dialogue
with people I encountered.
This all came to a head over New Years celebrations and the
subsequent recovery day called New Years Day.
We entertained some of the “usual suspects” to bring in the New Year at
Lake Bernard and my job was to prepare the dinner and enjoy the evening of friendship,
good discussion, food and fine wines.
During the prep time it became evident that I would be making the trek
upstairs that evening more than once.
All went well until our guests arrived and I got involved in different
conversations while preparing for dinner.
I felt the need to excuse myself several times before dinner and then
again several times after our meal. It
was my hope that no-one noticed my absences as it is not polite to discuss such
things at the table and I was determined to keep my discomfort to myself. Well, I did tell Freddi of my distress but that
was the extent of that discussion. At
the end of the evening the trip count was up to 5 since the guests arrived and
counting. That continued throughout the
night and all of the next day. We
travelled to Ottawa where we were in safe company with Tara-Lee and Kaia. The problem persisted until about 2:30 am
this morning. At this moment I am approximately
13 hours toilet free. I believe I have
turned a corner.
In a recent discussion with my sister on the phone I was
informed of an intestinal virus that she has heard of that produces similar
symptoms. In some weird way I was
relieved as this may have been what I was experiencing and not dealing with any
side effects of my operation.
If that is the case I would warn folks that such an
intestinal virus is out there and it may cause you to “experience
some new sensations such as bouts of gas, some rectal pressure, frequency,
urgency, soiled underwear, some accidents and some general discomfort in the affected
area”. Be warned.
Happy New Year!
Recent events: I
received a call from the hospital and my next Chemo treatment has been advanced
to January 4 instead of January 10. That
means I have my blood tests tomorrow and will wait by the phone to hear if the
WBC count is high enough to go ahead on Wednesday. It is my hope that is the case.
Love to all of you and thanks for looking up this
blog.......
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