A Man I Never Knew ....

Today I had the privilege of attending the Memorial Service for Bryan Murray at the Canadian Tire Centre here in Ottawa.  Since his death on August 12^th 2017, I have had it in my mind that I wanted to attend the Memorial as there are some links to this man I never knew.

Bryan Murray was a very caring man but was hardnosed, sarcastic, loud in the hockey world.  He earned his stripes from early years as a hockey player but most importantly as a Hockey Coach.  He was a team builder, a people person and most of all a family man from the small town of Shawville QC who knew what it took to be a “family man, friend, coach and a mentor”.  I had known “of him” as I am a hockey fan and a supporter of the Ottawa Senators.  My early introduction to Bryan was when he assumed the role of Coach of the Ottawa Senators in 2004 – the year of the lockout.   He worked his magic on which his reputation had been built and took the Senators to the Stanley Cup playoff Finals in 2007.  Incidentally, he is the only coach who has scaled that wall and been successful to get the Senators to the finals. 

Bryan and I have never met.  I was at the same fund raisers around hockey charity events for several years and I saw him regularly chatting up people from many walks of life.  I have also said “good morning” at Starbucks and made small talk but we have never met.  Regardless, this man has had a profound effect on me and has set a high bar in bravery, courage and resilience as he mounted an effort to deal with Colon Cancer.  My thin link to Bryan is that on November 15, 2014 Bryan went public about his Cancer Challenge and it was the commencement of his push to encourage all “to get checked”.  His observation at that point in time was that if you got checked regularly there was a greater chance of catching this disease before it took hold of your system.  That did mean that people would have to undergo a Colonoscopy and who wanted to have that test! In his case he was diagnosed with Stage IV Colon Cancer and his Dr Team set about establishing a program that would be best suit his immediate needs. 

It so happens that on that same day (Nov 15^th 2014) I was diagnosed with colon cancer by my Dr. Auer.  That set in place a bond, of sorts, and I continued to follow his public process up until his death.  His battle was one of courage and he was never shy to insist that whoever he spoke to was knowledgeable about what was going on inside their colon.  His advocacy was well known as he completed his tenure as GM of the Senators and continued his battle with Cancer until his death 12 days ago.  The news of his death caught me off guard a bit, during a period where I have been introspective and questioning myself about all of the issues around cancer treatment.  Since I have been having issues with WBC counts (low immune system) I have been laying low in between treatments and trying to encourage my body to increase my the capacity of my immune system so as not to interrupt what seems to be an endless number of treatments.  That meant that I laid down some tools on home projects, spent far more time reading, spent plenty of time alone (and now with our cat) and thinking somewhat introspectively over the a period of about 2 months.  The effects of those activities have been positive and negative as I guess all things fall that way.  On the positive side I have had fewer “sick days” and my WBC count has made it up to minimum levels prior to treatment.  On the negative side I have become somewhat of a recluse and falling under the spell of some of the dark thoughts that can happen when one is distressed, depressed and seeing the half empty glass.  Don’t get me wrong, this is not a critical case of depression as a result of any conclusions I have drawn but simply losing a bit of the edge on my positive thinking and being less courageous and resilient when thinking about my situation.  Clearly I needed a boot in the pants to get past this brooding mood.

Today, I got that kick in the pants as listened to the tremendous strength that Bryan had while he was conducting his life, supporting his family, inspiring the Senators and attending to all of his friends while he was dealing with his Cancer.  The memorial only lasted an hour but it was a great hour for me.  It was  MC’d by Dean Brown and a fellow announcer and celebration of life speeches were delivered by Lynn Hearty-Coutts (his niece) as a family representative,  Gary Bettman (on what Bryan left for us), Chris Phillips (on Bryan’s tyranny in the locker room, his sense of humour and his love of his players) and finally Pierre Dorion (current GM ) and Randy Lee (AGM) (on what Bryan brought to the Senators ). Each of the speakers extolled Bryan’s finer points and allowed us a window into this man’s attitudes, feelings, strengths and weaknesses.  Each had their own slant on the respect for and the privilege they had of knowing and being part of Bryan’s life in some way.  It was a very inspiring hour and cemented my view that Bryan was a courageous and resilient individual who thought of others before himself right up until the end of his life.

I feel better about many things having spent that hour.  It is my hope that this kick in the pants will assist me in being more positive, outgoing, giving and most of all loving with the people who are part of my life.  That is a good feeling.

Thank you Bryan Murray for your inspiration on this day and the days ahead.  As I wrote in the Memorial Book, “Keep your stick on the ice.  Play on .....”

Thank you to those of you who dropped in to read this and I hope your day ahead is a great one.

Be well and happy ..... Paul

A quiet period (?) – Round 3 Sessions 13 and 14

Today is a beautiful day at Lake Bernard and I can hear the sounds of children enjoying the pleasures of the lake as I sit here.  It has been a while since I have tapped out a few words about my family, my health, my life and other less important things that I am involved in.  I have been in a bit a slump in the mental area but I have also been very busy with company and activities around the house.  The last two days have been quiet and I have been able to catch up so I thought I might address my blog to update you.

First and foremost the family is all well and making the best of our rather wet summer.  We have had fun company for weekends and I am in awe of the food we consume not to mention the number of empty bottles of wine that get put out each weekend.  All fun and it is entertaining to watch little Kaia and her parents learn new things every day.  It is so rewarding to be “Popski” and watch her development regularly.  Gray, Bree and Skylar are well also and they are enjoying their activities in the mountains surrounding the beautiful valley of Pemberton.  In addition we had a visit from my sister for 5 days where we chatted, read, ate and drank together over many meals in the Tree House.  We also had a visit with nephew Greg and his daughter Brooke as she was in Ottawa for Skate Canada competition.  She skated in pairs and won her category even though they were the youngest pair in their class.  Well done Brooke.  Her sister was in San Jose CA competing in a swim meet and she managed to set new records on that same day.  Well done Summer. 
I marvel at the amount of dedication that competitive sports bring out in individuals and their fa

Bandit at 3 months

mily to boot.

We have a new addition to our family in the form of a beauty of a kitten.  She is 3 months old and she is way too much energy for an old guy like me.  But I have found that when we are alone and I am trying to read, she slips onto my lap for an energy building sleep.  She is called Bandit and she has stolen my heart in a short two week period. 

On July 25 I went to the QCH for my 13^th session in Round 3.  My blood tests were all fine except for the WBC count was .1 shy of the minimum acceptable level.  Once again we got the go ahead in short order from the Dr. and we had a very ordinary session with everything going as planned.  Once home I rested for the balance of the day and did some reading to pass the time of day.  I am reading a very good series of books right now and am enjoying my time with Jeffery Archer as he rolls out the Clifton Chronicles.   However, on day two through 6 I had less fun or certainly less enjoyment of each day.  My side effects were the worst I have experienced to date.  I was nauseous, had pains in my stomach, was constipated, headachy and on one occasion experienced some dizziness and sweating profusely with water appearing on my body (not just on my brow) that lasted for a couple of hours.  It was very worrisome but it went away when I lay down for a rest.   The balance of the first week I was very slow with constipation turning to diarrhea for a few days.  All of Dr Auer’s predictions of post op colon cancer inconveniences happened during those days.   And to top it all off my nights were fitful and not at all restful.  At the 7^th day I started to feel better and then each day was a better day after that.  When I looked over the rocky period, after day 7, I realized that I had not used the supplied drugs effectively to combat the after effects of Chemo.  I noted that for my discussion with the nurse at my next session.  As I said things improved after day 7 and I was very pleased to be out of the woods for the next couple of weeks. 

But this did give me cause to question why we do this every 3 weeks.  While thinking about this I took a dip in my positive attitude and resilience and that made me somewhat depressed.  My energy level is lower and my initiative took a hit also.  That led to a fragile mental state which took a great deal of energy to reverse.  I visited with some good friends and talked about some of the issues and was encouraged and reassured that “I look good” and I do have a positive attitude about all of this.  That was very helpful.  I have also catalogued more questions for the Dr. when I see him on Sept 5.  I have another CT Scan scheduled for Aug 28^th which will tell us how we are doing.  The results should show stability or reduction of cancer cells in the key areas of my liver and lungs.  If that is not the case we have a different discussion to have.

Yesterday I had session 14 at the QCH.  For the first time, my WBC was above the normal count and was of no concern to the nurses.  I have been using a supplement that my sister-in-law suggested for about a month now.  It is Reishi mushroom and it is a food supplement that is said to beneficial to the immune system.  I believe it is working and we will monitor that over future sessions.  The session went off without a hitch but an interesting interaction occurred as I was leaving the Pod after my treatment.  During the session a patient came in who I had not met but was familiar.  I thought it was Stuart McLean but have since validated the fact that Stuart passed away from Cancer in Feb of this year.  So I hope it was not Stuart.  I took the opportunity to chat with him and wish him luck with his Chemo treatments.  He informed me that this was to be his last treatment.  I hope that is the case.  We chatted about the death of Bryan Murray and about the courageous battle he endured all the while keeping active in his job and public about his condition.  http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/bryan-murray-celebration-of-life-ottawa-senators-1.4246778  We both agreed that we would be interested in attending his Memorial service at the Canadian Tire Centre on Aug 24^th.  I relayed my story of Bryan making public his diagnosis of colon cancer on the same day that my Dr. gave me my diagnosis of colon cancer.  His death last Saturday had a deep impact on me and we chatted about that too.  It was a brief discussion but one that will help me along the path ahead. 

Today a neighbour dropped by to drop off some soup and muffins to provide some treats over this quiet week.  She has been doing this for many sessions and I certainly appreciate her initiative and thoughtfulness. 

Tomorrow I get my bottle taken off and routinely that is a bad day.  This session I am staying true to the prescribed meds and taking extra when I feel badly.  My nurse gave me a stern lecture about that and I will do so to reduce the impact on my body and mental state. 

Thank you dropping in to read this and my best wishes for health and happiness go out to you.

Namaste......