Busy times ......

Good morning folks.... today is a snowy Tuesday morning in Ottawa.  It is our first real snow storm and it has traffic snarled up pretty well.

Once again I have been negligent in addressing this blog and once again I can only say that I have been a busy boy over the last few weeks.  It seems to get really busy at this time of year regardless of your work or play status.  My time was some play, some work and a great deal of getting ready for birthday celebrations and the upcoming Christmas period.  I feel confident that today is a turning point to a more balanced life style filled with fewer activities than the period that has just passed.

Our Holland America cruise on Eurodam was a very restful period during which Freddi and I were content to read, swim, eat, drink and sleep.  We enjoyed each of the port stops but did not really participate in any of the excursions.  We were happy to walk about and visit the new environments and generally being low key.  A couple of really good things happened on this cruise.  First was the fact that we were able to spend time with John and Sue in Cayman.  John’s sister Linda was also there and we had met her before on several occasions.  The five of us toured the retail Mecca that looks very much like a high end outdoor mall before driving up north to visit John’s favourite restaurant on the shore of the island.  They are doing very well down there and enjoying the warm weather, the sun and just relaxing on the island.  They have a very busy period there after Christmas as their family rotates through for varying lengths of time.  Our day was most relaxing and we enjoyed the chatter over the fine food overlooking the bay on a sunny day.

We also met quite a few folks on the cruise as we were in “open seating” in the dining room each evening.  We managed a few evening meals in the specialty restaurants but other than that we ate in the main dining room.  The food was very good and there was a good selection available at every meal.  We had a chance meeting with a British couple, Paul and Susan, at the outset of the cruise and we spent intermittent periods with them over the cruise.  We had dinner with them on a couple of evenings and went to some shows with them after dinner.  They are very kind and interesting people and we have committed to stay in touch.  It is my hope that they will visit in Canada and that we will be able to visit them in Kent England when we finally get to our desired UK trip.  Paul is retired from RAF and Sue is still working as a BA in the Bank so they have limited time to travel but seem to manage to get away a few times each year.  It was a great experience meeting them.

We returned to Canada as planned on the 26^th and life just got busy from the get go.  I made it to the hospital on Monday to get my blood tests done so that Dr Jonker would have the full picture for our next meeting the following day.  Freddi and I went to the Tuesday appointment with a bit of trepidation as the last few months had been terrific in terms of how I was feeling.  Should the results of the CT and Blood tests show negative results Dr Jonker would recommend that we re-start Chemo immediately.  As previously stated I had a preferred scenario and that action was not part of that set of activities.  We chatted with the nurse assistant who confirmed that I had added 6 lbs during the cruise as I indulged in fine food and fruity drinks with my share of wine.  We all laughed at the post cruise promises to drop that excess weight.  The nurse checked me out and found me to be in good physical health.  She reported her findings to Dr Jonker before he arrived in our waiting room.  He provided us with the results of the tests and I was instantly disappointed as there seemed to be some growth in the Cancer in my liver and lungs during the period without Chemo.  He did say it was minimal growth but it was growth and it was not good news to me.  I asked him what his recommendation was and he said his first reaction was to re-start the Chemo that week.  I then asked if that was negotiable as I really wanted to enjoy “feeling good” for another 3 months or so.  A small smile came across his face as I believe he was expecting this request from me.  He agreed to 2 months and I had to once again explain that I had travel plans in that period.  At the end of the negotiation it was established that I would have another CT scan upon return from Barbados in Feb followed by another consult a week later.  I was happy with that position as was he.  So I will continue to be Chemo free for another period and I hope to continue and build on some of the dietary changes to slow down the Cancer growth more naturally.  Unfortunately, I am not a full on naturalist in my diet and view some of the recommended solutions a little skeptically.  However, I am committed to learning more and trying to be better at helping myself.  There is much to be learned out there.

So with renewed strength, stamina and determination I continued on my life track and completed 4 shifts at the airport the following week.  I took one of Tara-Lee’s shifts as she had day-care issues and I was available.  Our shifts are usually 7 hours (sometimes shorter) and they are pretty much full time busy moving about the airport ensuring that WestJet guests are being well served and have no issues while they are preparing to jet off to some other location or returning from another location after business or pleasure travel.  We handle a lot of wheel chair transports and assist guests with the kiosk check-in process or any of their inquiries.  I enjoy the job and have noted that I walk around 10 – 15 km per day inside the building.

We had the pleasure of visitors over the last weekend.  Gray came in on Thursday last week and Lucy came in on Saturday to join us in our December birthday celebrations.  It was to be a big one as Tara-Lee achieved a big milestone on the 11^th and I added just another year on the 10^th. 

MUM's Birthday Dinner at Gazellig

On Friday evening Brehn coordinated a dinner for a group of Tara-Lee’s “besties” and we all enjoyed a nice dinner at Vittoria Trattoria in the village of Westboro.  It was a fun evening with lots of great food and wine and a superb slide show of Tara-Lee’s life to date.  There were some hysterical pictures from those old days.  Gray joined Freddi on a drive to the cottage for the night.  On Saturday I had a 5 hour shift at the airport and I arrived back at the lake in time to have a great dinner of roast beef with the family at home.  On Sunday Tara-Lee and Brehn had invited their family and friends for some Christmas cheer in the afternoon.  That was yet another great social event.  We had a nice ham dinner after all left and Gray and I drove to the cottage for the night.  Freddi stayed behind as she had an early morning at work on Monday.  That evening we gathered again at Tara-Lee and Brehn’s place to go out for our annual Mum’s dinner treat for our birthdays.  This year we went to Gazellig and had a wonderful meal again.  Kaia was very excited about being in a restaurant as she had on her finery and wanted to walk about and see all of the restaurant guests.    Brehn had his dinner when we had our had our appies so he left a little early when Kaia showed signs of being tired and ready for bed.  We Ubered back to the house when we finished our great dinner.  Thank Mum!

On Tuesday I Joined Bruce and some lake friends for a tour of the Chaudiere Falls power plant in Ottawa.  It was recently completed and will add new power sources to supply the City of Ottawa power needs.  It is quite an operation and it was fun to compare the new against the old style operation in Station 4 on Victoria Island.  It was a very neat couple of hours and I was happy to join them for the tour.  After the tour I had my Christmas lunch with Denise and Karl as we all prepare for a busy run-up to Christmas.  It is always fun to lunch with them as we have shared stories and opinions for well over 20 years.  Old friend are very important friends.

That brings me to now – as I write this in my auto mechanic’s extra chair in their office, and prepare to meet another friend for another lunch.  The next three days are all work days so I will likely not have much spare time to Christmas shop and prepare for the upcoming holiday.

Thank you for dropping in.  I do hope there are few or at least one “aha” in the message and please do feel free to drop a line and ask any question you might have.  Please feel comfortable that I am feeling great and happy to be on my continued break from Chemo during the holiday season and beyond our next short vacation.

Love to all of you .......    

Still on Break .....

Once again it has been far too long since I have addressed this blog.  For that I apologize but do feel that I am allowed to have busy times in my life regardless of the disease that I am hosting inside me.  I have had a good period of relief with no Chemo and that allowed me to step up and stride down some new paths that required more energy and precision than my body and brain can sustain when in the grips of the medicine that I have been exposed to.  That being said I am happy to be here, in this place and time and exhilarated by what has transpired since I last wrote in this blog.  Let’s go back a bit and put some perspective to what I am feeling today.

Evening outside of Fort Lauderdale

To position us today, I have started this note on Flight WJ1232 from YYZ to FLL (Fort Lauderdale) and I am traveling with Freddi to join a Caribbean cruise on Holland America for a short week.  Outside the window the heavy overcast sky over Toronto has given way to spotty sun filled puffy bursts of cloud that stand between our airplane and sunny land below.  We are somewhere over the south east states and it makes me feel warmer already as we left a cold damp environment in Ontario.

In my last blog note I indicated that I would be having a CT Scan on Nov 7^th but due to new responsibilities I would have to change that date due to work schedules.  I managed to find another date for the CT Scan (morning of Nov 9^th) as my work on that day did not start until 3 pm.  I went to that appointment and sat there for 2 hours consuming the foul tasting liquid that light up the body for the CT Scanner.  The actual test is painless and not very demanding as the only participation is to breathe deeply and hold my breath while they take the images.  This test is only about 5 minutes long and the inconvenience is the 2 hour prep and the insertion and removal of an IV that allows a dye to be injected during the test.  All of that to say, that the appointment was an easy one but a long one.  My original date of Nov 14^th to meet with Dr. Jonker for the result of the scan was also moved. That was not by my doing as the Dr.s’ office contacted me to move the appointment by one week as Dr. Jonker was not going to be available.  However, that change put me into the week I would be on vacation.  We agreed to move the appointment to Nov 28^th after I am back from this mini-vacation.  Although I am anxious to see what effect the break had on me I am OK with not knowing the results during my vacation.  That way I can enjoy whatever I will be doing and not having to dread having to get back on track with my Chemo treatments.  I can still be hopeful that the break did not cause any significant cancer growth in any area of my body which would result in immediate return to the treatment program.  I still secretly hope that I will be able to continue my no chemo state for another 6 week period or until my next CT Scan.

What did I do with my time between Oct 23 and today?  As I have already mentioned I felt stronger and more capable of coping with daily pressures and pleasures during the no chemo period.  And I mentioned that I had a new endeavour to learn about and start in the Ottawa Airport with WestJet.  During the last period I have been pretty much full time committed to learning about the job.  On the 30^th I was in Toronto for a 5 day training session.  The first day was all about Culture of the company and group of about 60 of us were ushered in by two very capable young women.  Some were starting as CSA’s, some were GSA’s and some were for the technical side of operations.  The specific training that we did for GSA’s was held in the training centre near the YYZ Airport and it was 4 days long.  The last day we were tested on the training material and our entire group of YOW trainees (7) were successful.  That meant we could proceed to the next level of “in station” training and then several shifts of “shadowing” an experienced GSA.  All of the local training took 2 weeks with lots of learning and assimilation of information.  In addition it meant getting our uniforms and trying the different components out in a real environment.  The fun part of this training was that I went to school with Tara-Lee as she has transferred from “in flight” to “airport” so she can be closer to home and Kaia.  We had lots of laughs and learned the operations during the training.  It is quite amazing that so much goes on in and around the airport.  In our routine day we walked about 10 km each day.  I am thinking that this will keep the weight off as I help people inside the airport.

In other areas, we finalized the clothing order for our consultants for Christmas and established a reservation at Beckta for the dinner.  My only complication is that my WestJet shift schedule for Dec does not come out until Nov 21 at which time I will have to see if I am scheduled with a conflict on the dinner night.  I am hoping that our consultants will enjoy the dinner and the gift.  This year we have more consultants than any other year at this celebration.  I am pleased about that stat.

Just the other day we finished with our boats for the year.  We resolved the issue we had with a new boat and we pulled it from the lake on Nov 10^th and we managed to get that boat shrink-wrapped last Wednesday.  The only outstanding boat at this time is my own as I left it loosely covered until we get back when we will wrap it under the garage open space.  It was a full fall and it seems that we have maxed out on numbers of boats that we deal with each year.  We have had incremental growth each year of operation.  All that is left for this year is the accounting and the financial statement.  I will get to that before year end.

Today is now Sunday and we are getting ready to board the Holland America Eurodam which is the cruise ship we will be on for the next 7 days.  We will cruise to Half Moon Bay (Bahamas), Cayman Islands (Georgetown), Cozumel (MX) and then to the Keyes before returning to FLL.  We have never cruised with Holland America so that will be a new experience.  I am ready for a restful period on board.  We will be meeting lake friends in Cayman as they own a winter retreat property on the island.  It will be our second visit with them in this environment.   

Yesterday afternoon we drove about the FLL area and managed to do some retail therapy at Freddi’s favorite store – Ross.  We found a nice little restaurant/bar on the inland waterway and we sat and watched the pleasure boats come and go.  There are some very big and expensive boats floating along that waterway.  We stayed for dinner and had a very nice meal.  We returned to the hotel and crashed as we were both very tired.  This morning we found a cool old style diner for our breakfast.  They have a great collection of vintage signs and brag about their VIP birthday club where they comp a burger and shake on your birthday.  It was a fun place to enjoy breakfast.

We are now about to venture over to the cruise-port to start our 7 day cruise.  Thank you for dropping in and catching up.  I am looking forward to chatting with Dr Jonker on the 28^th but in the interim I will enjoy all that comes along with no-chemo or effects of same to draw away from the experience.

Be well and happy and love to you all.

Break over?

Today is Oct 23^rd and I am amazes that 6+ weeks has slipped by since I last addressed this Blog.  I do apologize to those who came back in between Sept 9^th and today.  I have been very busy but of course, so have you.  I have no valid explanation as to why I did not address this Blog other than to say that I have been enjoying my Chemo free time and I have worked hard at making every day matter.  So what have I been doing?

Lake Bernard Sunset - Oct 2017

After my Dr. visit in early September, I set about a daily routine that was quite different from the time on Chemo.  Primarily this was doable as I woke up each day feeling stronger, less affected by drugs and filled with more enthusiasm for my life and the limited world I circulate in.  My energy level was quite elevated and my outlook much clearer.  All of these gave me the opportunity to work outside with more enthusiasm and to complete my consulting company tasks more effectively and in a timely fashion.  In addition my appetite, although only marginally affected by Chemo, returned to its normal level.  That had to be managed as I do not wish to put on any more weight as I am at my “best weight” right now.  All in, I have been feeling very good and have straightened out my deteriorating attitude about living with Cancer.  It is my secret hope that my next CT Scan will show no new growth and we will be able to continue a “no Chemo” profile.

You might well ask about what I have been doing.  Well the consulting business provides continued support requirement and meetings with Ben, my partner, to discuss business issues, planning and of course our Partnership Agreement – that has been on the table for a long time.  We are currently planning our Consultant Christmas Dinner event and sourcing our annual gifts to our active consultants.  That is a December tradition and we are just on the curve of making the purchase a rush delivery.  I expect to finalize that order this week.

On the outdoor front, Bruce and I have been winterizing our client’s boats and getting them ready for the harsh dark period in Canada. This year we added a few new clients and lost only one. 

Working on boats

Most of our clients wanted to keep their boats in the water as the fall weather has been better than the summer weather.  Our summer was pretty wet and many of the boats sat idle at the docks.  Fall has brought near record warmth and sunshine in this part of the country and continues as I look outside at a sunny fall morning.  Yesterday Sandra and I completed the penultimate boat for the year.  We have one undecided situation to resolve but other than that all of our client’s boats are put to bed for the winter.  The back field is pretty full as we have set a new standard, as we seem to do each successive year.  The fine weather has certainly been a major benefit in keeping up with the intake and completing most boats on the same day.  Oh yes, my boats are still in the water and I have enjoyed many sunsets on the lake in October.  We normally pull our boats in early November and that will likely be the case again this year.

In addition to those activities, I applied for a job at the airport with WestJet in August.  Much to my surprise, I was invited to a group interview session in late September.   In October I was informed that they had added me to their local WestJet work force and that I would be trained in Toronto on Oct 30^th.  The job I applied for was the Guest Service Ambassador position where my sole responsibility is to make sure that WestJet clients have a positive and good experience as they pass through the Ottawa airport on route to wherever they are going.  Tara-Lee thought this would be a good diversion for me as she felt I was ideally suited to do this job.  I have now met a few of the folks in the Airport Team and am thrilled to be part of that team.  Last week I spent 3 hours shadowing a GSA and enjoyed the experience.  Incidentally, Tara-Lee is making the move from a Flight Attendant to a GSA position in Ottawa also.  We will be working together at the airport.  That makes it even more fun for me.

Tara-Lee and Brehn, and of course Kaia, all went to Hawaii in October for a honeymoon vacation.  They had a great time enjoying the fine and consistent weather and spent lots of time on the beach with Kaia.  During that time Freddi and I missed our routine visits with Roichel Family and we took care of Ranger at Lake Bernard.  They are back now and things have started to come together as a new schedule will start for Tara-Lee in November.

Proud Hawaiian

My new challenge will be to manage my medical appointments and my new work schedule as I will be on shift work.  My next CT is in early November (7^th) which is now a work day for me.  I need to get my schedule so I can arrange for appointments when I am not expected at work.  The challenge will continue when I re-start any treatments.  No rest for the wicked they say so I will be kept on my toes managing these things. 

In the interim, I will try to continue my evening cruises, weather permitting, maintaining a happy and healthy attitude, manage my life with an eye to keeping my new work schedule in tact while undertaking any recommended treatments after I see the Dr and return from a short Caribbean cruise in late November.   I think that is enough for the short term.

Thank you once again for dropping in and I hope you will address any questions of comments with me directly to my email where I would be happy to respond to you directly.

Until then be well and happy.  Love ya .......

Kaia - Downward Dog on the beach.

Break Time!

It has been too long since I have addressed this blog and given an update for those of you who take the time to read these notes.  Why do I know that?  Well information has been getting back to me about what has been happening to me and I have not yet shared that information with you who take the time to read these ramblings.  So today I have finally found some quiet time to actually sit down and write about my last week. 

You might recall that I had a CT Scan on Aug 28^th.  That scan was to have a look at what progress or regression had happened to my cancer since my last one in early June.  The appointment went off easily and I got a bonus as I was well prepared to spend 2 hours drinking their horrid drink that lights you up for the scanner.  It turned out that the instructions did not include the horrible drink and I went right into the scan shortly after I arrived.  I am familiar with the process and the man who runs the scanner at the Civic Hospital.  He is not too friendly as he only spends 5 minutes with his clients.  However, we chatted this time and I consider that a breakthrough.  After the scan I took advantage of my free two hours and squandered away the time doing menial chores at various retail outlets in the city.  All I could do was to wait for the results which I would get on Sept 5^th just prior to my next treatment on the 6^th.  I do not recall clearly what happened over the next week other than we had some company and it was a busy time at the cottage.  In addition I do recall rather crappy weather for the better part of that time.

On Tuesday morning (Sept 5^th) I went to TOH for my normal blood tests and happened upon Dr Auer in the hallway.  Unfortunately, she was in a hurry as she had been delayed at home with kids being sent off for the first day of school.  As a result she was running late for her OR appointment.  We waved and passed on best wishes.  I then went to do some chores in the city before my appointment with Dr Jonker at 2 PM.  Freddi joined me at the appointment in Mod C of TOH.  I had been considering many scenarios going forward and my mind had settled on one ask of the Dr.  My treatment had been underway for 14 3 week cycles in this session and I was not particularly enjoying the side effects and the seemingly cumulative effect of the Chemo.  My nausea was lasting longer, the feeling of being tired and sick was lasting longer, my sleeplessness was lasting longer, my bowels were on their own schedule with a variety of “special” effects to keep me on my toes and overall my mental state was that of not being happy or content with the situation.  So my mind played with many scenarios to make thing different.  It swung the pendulum full cycle looking for different types of relief.  With all that in mind I was prepared to beg the Dr to give me a little reprieve for a period of time.

So finally, we were called in to get weighed and to chat with the nurse as she did a preliminary review of the last treatment.  We walked through all of her questions and provided some feedback to her to pass on to the Dr before he came to see me.  It is a pretty good process as the Dr comes in prepared to answer your questions and has time to think about what should be next given everything.  Away she went armed with lots of notes and a big smile.  She is almost new to working with Dr Jonker and she was very pleasant and caring. 

Dr Jonker arrived and settled in to chat about the CT Scan.  He started with the fact that the scan came back with no visible growth since the last time.  That is good news and we were happy to hear that.  He then said, “I hear you are looking for a break from Chemo.”  I responded in the affirmative and he said, “Fine but we will have go a whole session without treatment as if there is a mix of treatment and no treatment the changes in the results of the scans will not be easily interpreted.”  So what that meant was that he was OK with “The Break” and it would start that day.  That meant that my Wednesday treatment on Sept 6^th would be cancelled and I would go until the end of November without a treatment.  Needless to say I was a bit surprised that I did not have to convince him of the need for a break and he was very supportive of my Chemo weary state of mind.  We established that I would have a CT Scan on November 7^th and then see him again on November 14^th to get the results.  He expects that there might be some marginal growth and that he will recommend further Chemo treatment starting at the end of November.  As I always do when we close in on winter, I advised him of our travel plans and he noted that information on my file.  Dr Jonker has been very good about making sure that my time away is as enjoyable as it can be and as Chemo free as possible.  With all of that settled he stood, wished us well and went on his way as his clinic was running 45 minutes late.

We were left to digest the rather short conversation and eventually we left the clinic feeling pretty good about the fact that I had several weeks (12) ahead of me before I had to face the Chemo drugs and side effects again.   That is pretty invigorating feeling.  I spent the rest of the afternoon digesting this situation and feeling the effects of the fog lifting off me in such a short period of time.

Later that afternoon, I received a call from Dr Auer’s assistant stating that thee Dr wanted to talk to me.  In short she was unhappy that we could not talk in the morning as she wanted to know how I was doing. However, it was fortuitous that I had more information about the going forward position due to my appointment with Dr Jonker in between our discussions.  We chatted about family, summer vacations, cottage life and of course where I stood in my treatments and my attitude about being a cancer patient.  It was so nice to chat with her and for her to give up some of her busy day just to check in.  She made my day with that call and reminded me why I liked her as my Oncologist of record.

That was one week ago.  In the last week I have been so busy doing things that I normally do not do that I have been unable to get to the blog to share this information with you.  Now that it is written I feel better as I have been harbouring my enthusiasm and dealing with some busy work at both the boat business and the consulting business.  The weekend was spent with Tara-Lee and her family and friends as they celebrated Kaia’s 1^st birthday (actually Sept 19^th) on a beautiful sunny Sunday afternoon.  Freddi and I were also invited to babysit on Saturday night as Tara-Lee and Brehn went to a concert with friends.  All in all a busy week has passed and I had plans to golf in Florida starting tomorrow but a hurricane called Irma changed those plans.  We are not going to Florida this fall.  It has been terrible watching the effects of the hurricane on the many small islands in the Caribbean and the destruction and chaos in Florida as the hurricane moved north at a good clip.  I feel very badly for the millions of folks who have suffered over the last 10 days or so.

So, on this very sunny and warm afternoon, I feel that I deserve a short cruise on Lake Bernard to contemplate what the 3 month Break will mean to me.  I am happy, feeling well and getting stronger and I can only hope that you also are feeling as positive about things as I am.

Thank you once again for dropping in and feel free to send me a note if you have any questions, concerns or just want to say hello.

My best wishes to all and my love goes out to all of you.

A Man I Never Knew ....

Today I had the privilege of attending the Memorial Service for Bryan Murray at the Canadian Tire Centre here in Ottawa.  Since his death on August 12^th 2017, I have had it in my mind that I wanted to attend the Memorial as there are some links to this man I never knew.

Bryan Murray was a very caring man but was hardnosed, sarcastic, loud in the hockey world.  He earned his stripes from early years as a hockey player but most importantly as a Hockey Coach.  He was a team builder, a people person and most of all a family man from the small town of Shawville QC who knew what it took to be a “family man, friend, coach and a mentor”.  I had known “of him” as I am a hockey fan and a supporter of the Ottawa Senators.  My early introduction to Bryan was when he assumed the role of Coach of the Ottawa Senators in 2004 – the year of the lockout.   He worked his magic on which his reputation had been built and took the Senators to the Stanley Cup playoff Finals in 2007.  Incidentally, he is the only coach who has scaled that wall and been successful to get the Senators to the finals. 

Bryan and I have never met.  I was at the same fund raisers around hockey charity events for several years and I saw him regularly chatting up people from many walks of life.  I have also said “good morning” at Starbucks and made small talk but we have never met.  Regardless, this man has had a profound effect on me and has set a high bar in bravery, courage and resilience as he mounted an effort to deal with Colon Cancer.  My thin link to Bryan is that on November 15, 2014 Bryan went public about his Cancer Challenge and it was the commencement of his push to encourage all “to get checked”.  His observation at that point in time was that if you got checked regularly there was a greater chance of catching this disease before it took hold of your system.  That did mean that people would have to undergo a Colonoscopy and who wanted to have that test! In his case he was diagnosed with Stage IV Colon Cancer and his Dr Team set about establishing a program that would be best suit his immediate needs. 

It so happens that on that same day (Nov 15^th 2014) I was diagnosed with colon cancer by my Dr. Auer.  That set in place a bond, of sorts, and I continued to follow his public process up until his death.  His battle was one of courage and he was never shy to insist that whoever he spoke to was knowledgeable about what was going on inside their colon.  His advocacy was well known as he completed his tenure as GM of the Senators and continued his battle with Cancer until his death 12 days ago.  The news of his death caught me off guard a bit, during a period where I have been introspective and questioning myself about all of the issues around cancer treatment.  Since I have been having issues with WBC counts (low immune system) I have been laying low in between treatments and trying to encourage my body to increase my the capacity of my immune system so as not to interrupt what seems to be an endless number of treatments.  That meant that I laid down some tools on home projects, spent far more time reading, spent plenty of time alone (and now with our cat) and thinking somewhat introspectively over the a period of about 2 months.  The effects of those activities have been positive and negative as I guess all things fall that way.  On the positive side I have had fewer “sick days” and my WBC count has made it up to minimum levels prior to treatment.  On the negative side I have become somewhat of a recluse and falling under the spell of some of the dark thoughts that can happen when one is distressed, depressed and seeing the half empty glass.  Don’t get me wrong, this is not a critical case of depression as a result of any conclusions I have drawn but simply losing a bit of the edge on my positive thinking and being less courageous and resilient when thinking about my situation.  Clearly I needed a boot in the pants to get past this brooding mood.

Today, I got that kick in the pants as listened to the tremendous strength that Bryan had while he was conducting his life, supporting his family, inspiring the Senators and attending to all of his friends while he was dealing with his Cancer.  The memorial only lasted an hour but it was a great hour for me.  It was  MC’d by Dean Brown and a fellow announcer and celebration of life speeches were delivered by Lynn Hearty-Coutts (his niece) as a family representative,  Gary Bettman (on what Bryan left for us), Chris Phillips (on Bryan’s tyranny in the locker room, his sense of humour and his love of his players) and finally Pierre Dorion (current GM ) and Randy Lee (AGM) (on what Bryan brought to the Senators ). Each of the speakers extolled Bryan’s finer points and allowed us a window into this man’s attitudes, feelings, strengths and weaknesses.  Each had their own slant on the respect for and the privilege they had of knowing and being part of Bryan’s life in some way.  It was a very inspiring hour and cemented my view that Bryan was a courageous and resilient individual who thought of others before himself right up until the end of his life.

I feel better about many things having spent that hour.  It is my hope that this kick in the pants will assist me in being more positive, outgoing, giving and most of all loving with the people who are part of my life.  That is a good feeling.

Thank you Bryan Murray for your inspiration on this day and the days ahead.  As I wrote in the Memorial Book, “Keep your stick on the ice.  Play on .....”

Thank you to those of you who dropped in to read this and I hope your day ahead is a great one.

Be well and happy ..... Paul

A quiet period (?) – Round 3 Sessions 13 and 14

Today is a beautiful day at Lake Bernard and I can hear the sounds of children enjoying the pleasures of the lake as I sit here.  It has been a while since I have tapped out a few words about my family, my health, my life and other less important things that I am involved in.  I have been in a bit a slump in the mental area but I have also been very busy with company and activities around the house.  The last two days have been quiet and I have been able to catch up so I thought I might address my blog to update you.

First and foremost the family is all well and making the best of our rather wet summer.  We have had fun company for weekends and I am in awe of the food we consume not to mention the number of empty bottles of wine that get put out each weekend.  All fun and it is entertaining to watch little Kaia and her parents learn new things every day.  It is so rewarding to be “Popski” and watch her development regularly.  Gray, Bree and Skylar are well also and they are enjoying their activities in the mountains surrounding the beautiful valley of Pemberton.  In addition we had a visit from my sister for 5 days where we chatted, read, ate and drank together over many meals in the Tree House.  We also had a visit with nephew Greg and his daughter Brooke as she was in Ottawa for Skate Canada competition.  She skated in pairs and won her category even though they were the youngest pair in their class.  Well done Brooke.  Her sister was in San Jose CA competing in a swim meet and she managed to set new records on that same day.  Well done Summer. 
I marvel at the amount of dedication that competitive sports bring out in individuals and their fa

Bandit at 3 months

mily to boot.

We have a new addition to our family in the form of a beauty of a kitten.  She is 3 months old and she is way too much energy for an old guy like me.  But I have found that when we are alone and I am trying to read, she slips onto my lap for an energy building sleep.  She is called Bandit and she has stolen my heart in a short two week period. 

On July 25 I went to the QCH for my 13^th session in Round 3.  My blood tests were all fine except for the WBC count was .1 shy of the minimum acceptable level.  Once again we got the go ahead in short order from the Dr. and we had a very ordinary session with everything going as planned.  Once home I rested for the balance of the day and did some reading to pass the time of day.  I am reading a very good series of books right now and am enjoying my time with Jeffery Archer as he rolls out the Clifton Chronicles.   However, on day two through 6 I had less fun or certainly less enjoyment of each day.  My side effects were the worst I have experienced to date.  I was nauseous, had pains in my stomach, was constipated, headachy and on one occasion experienced some dizziness and sweating profusely with water appearing on my body (not just on my brow) that lasted for a couple of hours.  It was very worrisome but it went away when I lay down for a rest.   The balance of the first week I was very slow with constipation turning to diarrhea for a few days.  All of Dr Auer’s predictions of post op colon cancer inconveniences happened during those days.   And to top it all off my nights were fitful and not at all restful.  At the 7^th day I started to feel better and then each day was a better day after that.  When I looked over the rocky period, after day 7, I realized that I had not used the supplied drugs effectively to combat the after effects of Chemo.  I noted that for my discussion with the nurse at my next session.  As I said things improved after day 7 and I was very pleased to be out of the woods for the next couple of weeks. 

But this did give me cause to question why we do this every 3 weeks.  While thinking about this I took a dip in my positive attitude and resilience and that made me somewhat depressed.  My energy level is lower and my initiative took a hit also.  That led to a fragile mental state which took a great deal of energy to reverse.  I visited with some good friends and talked about some of the issues and was encouraged and reassured that “I look good” and I do have a positive attitude about all of this.  That was very helpful.  I have also catalogued more questions for the Dr. when I see him on Sept 5.  I have another CT Scan scheduled for Aug 28^th which will tell us how we are doing.  The results should show stability or reduction of cancer cells in the key areas of my liver and lungs.  If that is not the case we have a different discussion to have.

Yesterday I had session 14 at the QCH.  For the first time, my WBC was above the normal count and was of no concern to the nurses.  I have been using a supplement that my sister-in-law suggested for about a month now.  It is Reishi mushroom and it is a food supplement that is said to beneficial to the immune system.  I believe it is working and we will monitor that over future sessions.  The session went off without a hitch but an interesting interaction occurred as I was leaving the Pod after my treatment.  During the session a patient came in who I had not met but was familiar.  I thought it was Stuart McLean but have since validated the fact that Stuart passed away from Cancer in Feb of this year.  So I hope it was not Stuart.  I took the opportunity to chat with him and wish him luck with his Chemo treatments.  He informed me that this was to be his last treatment.  I hope that is the case.  We chatted about the death of Bryan Murray and about the courageous battle he endured all the while keeping active in his job and public about his condition.  http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/bryan-murray-celebration-of-life-ottawa-senators-1.4246778  We both agreed that we would be interested in attending his Memorial service at the Canadian Tire Centre on Aug 24^th.  I relayed my story of Bryan making public his diagnosis of colon cancer on the same day that my Dr. gave me my diagnosis of colon cancer.  His death last Saturday had a deep impact on me and we chatted about that too.  It was a brief discussion but one that will help me along the path ahead. 

Today a neighbour dropped by to drop off some soup and muffins to provide some treats over this quiet week.  She has been doing this for many sessions and I certainly appreciate her initiative and thoughtfulness. 

Tomorrow I get my bottle taken off and routinely that is a bad day.  This session I am staying true to the prescribed meds and taking extra when I feel badly.  My nurse gave me a stern lecture about that and I will do so to reduce the impact on my body and mental state. 

Thank you dropping in to read this and my best wishes for health and happiness go out to you.

Namaste......